Crossing Socio-economic Boundaries
For Thursday (September 3, 2015)
It was almost twilight, the sun was about to set in the horizon. From the living room window, I excitedly greeted my fifty-year old father who at that time was busy preparing our dinner in the kitchen.
"What's for dinner, Pa?"
"Your favorite, Pinakbet, anak.. With fried fish... And calamansi juice. You better change your clothes now and get ready for our dinner.
As we were eating dinner, father suddenly told me about his new job. But it never dawned on me that this new job will take him far away from me.
" I found a job... And .. It's in Thailand. I'm leaving tomorrow."
"What? You must be joking Pa. And that soon, that's crazy."
" For several days now, I have thought of revealing this to you. I just did not find the courage to do so. "
"NO!!! You are not leaving. Life abroad is not that easy. Who would take care of you?"
" Carlo, you don't understand. With ASEAN economic integration, I will be fine. You should know better than I know on this matter. Isn't this taught in your school? It is going to have a good paying job in the ASEAN region. While the opportunity is here, I will grab it. It might not come again."
" HA! Do you really believe that? That has been postponed to a much later date. Integration is a very difficult process. It is not as easy as you thought. Remember what happened to mother?"
My mother died when I was barely 7 years old. Obviously,I know so little about her. Even if I wish to know her, tat would be impossible now. She resigned from her job as a teacher in the public school in search for a greener pasture. They told me she worked as a domestic helper abroad, but when she came home I saw that she was already inside a metal box.
" Papa please don't leave me. You are the only one I have now. I couldn't imagine my life living without you. I will look for scholarships to help me finance my studies. I can even work as a call center agent. Just say you have changed your mind."
" If I work abroad son, you don't have to work. I can give you want you need." Besides you will be in good hands. Your auntie Cora will take care of you while I'm away ."
" No Pa. Your masters will treat you like a slave. There would be times that you can't eat your meals.
It sounds like a cliche. I have seen a lot of Filipino movies with similar scenes... Exploitation .. Rape cases... Household helpers are locked up inside their rooms when their masters are out... And their quarters are good enough for the dogs... I couldn't bare the pain if my father would experience the same thing. I looked at the ceiling wishing to have all those tears which are slowly emerging from my tiny eyes go go back to where they all came from. Then, I looked at my father with pain in my eyes... My voice quivering now... " Papa, no one will take care of you there. Please stay."
"My son, this is all for you. My ticket is ready."
With tears streaming down my face, I stood and rushed out of the house. I saw him at the door. I heard him calling out my name. I saw him. Yes despite the flooding of tears from my eyes. Father was wearing his usual faded blue shirt, and short pants... I did not know that would be the last time I would see him before he leaves.
" No one will ever hurt me again the way my parents did to me ."
I wandered aimlessly around the city and reached a dimly lit bar with an equally dark corner where I spotted some of my friends having fun... Drinking Tanduay Rhum.
The atmosphere was filled with hardcore metallic music. Was it music. I could not recall, and I didn't really care at that time. It was a night of fun - forgetting the heaviest burdens of my life.
" Tagay pa Carl!" Without hesitation, I grabbed the glass and drank all its contents leaving me dizzy..and nauseated. But I took another shot,and another shot, and still another shot until I forgot what I was even drinking. I'm on Patron Tequila, I'm drank of Margarita [sing this ]
" Parents don't care! They think they know..." I started mumbling. My friends listened. " They leave us as if we are burdens - as if we're mistakes! Ha!I'll show them! Let's dance!"
We danced and danced 'til my feet ached. Or, were they really aching? I guess the experience was making me numb all over.
The music, the liquor, the smoke, body movements, everything swirled! So, I rushed out from the bar and started walking... And vomiting... Where I went I didn't know. I just walked and walked... and vomited and vomited.
" Carlo, wake up! What are you doing here?"
It was Aunt Cora's voice. I was so ashamed. I was sleeping near the pile of garbage while a swarm of flies feasted over my dirty face filled with foamy white saliva and some morsels of rice and what have you.
"What have I done? This is not me. This is not how my father brought me up."
I thanked Aunt Cora for waking me up. Then I hurriedly went home. As I was nearing home, I have not heard the song that Papa would usually sing early in the morning. Then, I started calling out...
" Pa, Pa, are you there?"
There was no answer. Pa, Pa, Papa, ... I could only hear my own voice. I sat down slowly on our rickety sofa, tears on my cheeks, full of regrets. Suddenly it dawned on me what Papa said last night, "I found a job... and it's in Thailand. I'm leaving tomorrow."
"TOMORROW is NOW!!!"
Then a piece of paper caught my attention. I grabbed it - it was a brochure. In bold letters it says: ASEAN INTEGRATION PROMISES AN OPEN, OUTWARD-LOOKING, MARKET-DRIVEN ECONOMY. It was then I noticed a note clipped to the brochure. That note was written in my father's own handwriting:
Carlo, anak, read on this and you will know that I'm in good hands. Take care, anak. I'll call you, and I'll learn SKYPE for you.
With all my love,
Papa
All that drama happened a year ago. I miss my Papa terribly, but our communication through SKYPE excites me. He is happy , and I'm happy for him. By 2016, I will have finished my college education. And because of ASEAN Integration, we will be reunited in any ASEAN country of my choice - that is my father's promise.
#creativewriting
Crossing Socio-economic Boundaries
Carlo M. Gadingan
It was almost twilight, the sun was about to set in the horizon. From the living room window, I excitedly greeted my fifty-year old father who at that time was busy preparing our dinner in the kitchen.
"What's for dinner, Pa?"
"Your favorite, Pinakbet, anak.. With fried fish... And calamansi juice. You better change your clothes now and get ready for our dinner.
As we were eating dinner, father suddenly told me about his new job. But it never dawned on me that this new job will take him far away from me.
" I found a job... And .. It's in Thailand. I'm leaving tomorrow."
"What? You must be joking Pa. And that soon, that's crazy."
" For several days now, I have thought of revealing this to you. I just did not find the courage to do so. "
"NO!!! You are not leaving. Life abroad is not that easy. Who would take care of you?"
" Carlo, you don't understand. With ASEAN economic integration, I will be fine. You should know better than I know on this matter. Isn't this taught in your school? It is going to have a good paying job in the ASEAN region. While the opportunity is here, I will grab it. It might not come again."
" HA! Do you really believe that? That has been postponed to a much later date. Integration is a very difficult process. It is not as easy as you thought. Remember what happened to mother?"
My mother died when I was barely 7 years old. Obviously,I know so little about her. Even if I wish to know her, tat would be impossible now. She resigned from her job as a teacher in the public school in search for a greener pasture. They told me she worked as a domestic helper abroad, but when she came home I saw that she was already inside a metal box.
" Papa please don't leave me. You are the only one I have now. I couldn't imagine my life living without you. I will look for scholarships to help me finance my studies. I can even work as a call center agent. Just say you have changed your mind."
" If I work abroad son, you don't have to work. I can give you want you need." Besides you will be in good hands. Your auntie Cora will take care of you while I'm away ."
" No Pa. Your masters will treat you like a slave. There would be times that you can't eat your meals.
It sounds like a cliche. I have seen a lot of Filipino movies with similar scenes... Exploitation .. Rape cases... Household helpers are locked up inside their rooms when their masters are out... And their quarters are good enough for the dogs... I couldn't bare the pain if my father would experience the same thing. I looked at the ceiling wishing to have all those tears which are slowly emerging from my tiny eyes go go back to where they all came from. Then, I looked at my father with pain in my eyes... My voice quivering now... " Papa, no one will take care of you there. Please stay."
"My son, this is all for you. My ticket is ready."
With tears streaming down my face, I stood and rushed out of the house. I saw him at the door. I heard him calling out my name. I saw him. Yes despite the flooding of tears from my eyes. Father was wearing his usual faded blue shirt, and short pants... I did not know that would be the last time I would see him before he leaves.
" No one will ever hurt me again the way my parents did to me ."
I wandered aimlessly around the city and reached a dimly lit bar with an equally dark corner where I spotted some of my friends having fun... Drinking Tanduay Rhum.
The atmosphere was filled with hardcore metallic music. Was it music. I could not recall, and I didn't really care at that time. It was a night of fun - forgetting the heaviest burdens of my life.
" Tagay pa Carl!" Without hesitation, I grabbed the glass and drank all its contents leaving me dizzy..and nauseated. But I took another shot,and another shot, and still another shot until I forgot what I was even drinking. I'm on Patron Tequila, I'm drank of Margarita [sing this ]
" Parents don't care! They think they know..." I started mumbling. My friends listened. " They leave us as if we are burdens - as if we're mistakes! Ha!I'll show them! Let's dance!"
We danced and danced 'til my feet ached. Or, were they really aching? I guess the experience was making me numb all over.
The music, the liquor, the smoke, body movements, everything swirled! So, I rushed out from the bar and started walking... And vomiting... Where I went I didn't know. I just walked and walked... and vomited and vomited.
" Carlo, wake up! What are you doing here?"
It was Aunt Cora's voice. I was so ashamed. I was sleeping near the pile of garbage while a swarm of flies feasted over my dirty face filled with foamy white saliva and some morsels of rice and what have you.
"What have I done? This is not me. This is not how my father brought me up."
I thanked Aunt Cora for waking me up. Then I hurriedly went home. As I was nearing home, I have not heard the song that Papa would usually sing early in the morning. Then, I started calling out...
" Pa, Pa, are you there?"
There was no answer. Pa, Pa, Papa, ... I could only hear my own voice. I sat down slowly on our rickety sofa, tears on my cheeks, full of regrets. Suddenly it dawned on me what Papa said last night, "I found a job... and it's in Thailand. I'm leaving tomorrow."
"TOMORROW is NOW!!!"
Then a piece of paper caught my attention. I grabbed it - it was a brochure. In bold letters it says: ASEAN INTEGRATION PROMISES AN OPEN, OUTWARD-LOOKING, MARKET-DRIVEN ECONOMY. It was then I noticed a note clipped to the brochure. That note was written in my father's own handwriting:
Carlo, anak, read on this and you will know that I'm in good hands. Take care, anak. I'll call you, and I'll learn SKYPE for you.
With all my love,
Papa
All that drama happened a year ago. I miss my Papa terribly, but our communication through SKYPE excites me. He is happy , and I'm happy for him. By 2016, I will have finished my college education. And because of ASEAN Integration, we will be reunited in any ASEAN country of my choice - that is my father's promise.
#creativewriting
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